Priorities, Razor's Edges, Bald Spots, and Pride

"Don't give an 'A' effort to a 'B' priority." Huh? This phrase, uttered by my professor at the beginning of our week-long intensive 'Pastoral & Social Ethics' class, admittedly bounced around in my head and never quite came to rest long enough for me to fully comprehend its relevance at the time. Sure, on the surface I understood his caution: make sure you give your best effort to the highest priority. The part I really liked was the inference to make sure you recognize what are the highest priorities in your life and don't sacrifice those for the sake of the lower priorities. Check! That part I can handle. I fancy myself quite good at understanding priorities and their rank: God, family, and so on...but what was all this mess about effort? I got the prioritizing part but sure didn't get the effort part.

Well, now I stand with the requirements of that class (reading, exam, and paper) due in a couple of weeks and I feel like I am scrambling just to get them done. With all of the business of the summer up to this point, time has went by much too fast. To be honest, I don't find myself in this place very often. Those who know me well know that when it comes to work, school, etc. I give just about as much effort as I can while juggling priorities and not sacrificing relationships, etc. But therein lies the problem - I work so hard that I absolutely run myself ragged at times. To borrow from a colloquialism by John Murray, the difference between priority and effort is not a chasm, but a razor's edge. And unlike Johnny Cash, I must confess that I do not 'walk the line' of that edge very well. I am beginning to see more clearly that the more effort that I expend to do all things well regardless of their priority, the more I neglect myself and my well-being in the process. Now this is not meant to be a pity-party for the sake of poor ol' me, but rather a confession that I need to learn to walk better on that razor. I need to learn to reconcile "do all things to the glory of God" with "don't give an 'A' effort to a 'B' priority." I guess what I really want to know is, can I at least give an 'A-' effort to a 'B' priority???

Perhaps the answer is found in the newly forming bald spot on my head. Sure, I know it's there but I don't really think too much about it - well, at least not until someone mentions it. And even when they do I have a pretty nonchalant attitude about it. It's part of life and, I guess, goes with being in your thirties. But the fact of the matter is that some people absolutely obsess over them and do whatever they can to cover them up: rogaine, shaving, spray-on-hair, toupees, and even the dreaded comb-over. Perhaps the way that bald spots absolutely consume some people is the same way that effort absolutely consumes me? The thought of giving less than an 'A' effort on anything just about makes me want to listen to Michael Bolton for 24 straight hours instead.

All of this thinking has brought me to the conclusion that the center of all this is undoubtedly found in my pride. In my boastful, arrogant, pride I would rather give my best effort to everything while denying myself and thinking that somehow I will be better for it in the end. Heck, that is just as silly as spray-on-hair and will undoubtedly last just about as long. Well whatever the solution is, one thing I do know: I need the grace of God to reveal it to me.

In the meantime, I guess I should get back to that reading and studying and writing...

~Dan